My name is Martin and welcome! Im 19 and I play music like Dallas Green plays except not as good! Music has become something of a life for me, between music in college and promoting local bands I don't have time for much else. Folk is where my roots reside, but I wont frustrate you with a playlist bar just ask and Ill give you some cool stuff to getcha going. Otherwise, this whole blogs kinda random so just gimme a break!
Women who are the same with every boyfriend they have, especially when its the “exact same” emotions. Like bitch please, you told the world you were gonna spend your whole life with the last 5 guys, you got 9 lives or am I just missing something? I just feel like every relationship should have its differences and its own emotional keystone. How can anyone be so eager to get on with their lives that they struggle so furiously for someone else’s stability, or rather the stability someone else can provide. At any rate, see ya’ll in 10 years when you are on your 30th forever!
Its like I get a whole 10 minutes of her happiness and then its back to being unhappy about something. And as much as I love her its taking a major toll on me. Idk if its just me reacting to it the wrong way or this would actually make sense to a third party, but regardless for the past 2 weeks she’s been sick or too tired or just completely out of it, frustrated, misunderstanding, humourless, what have you. And in response at first I was trying to be positive to counter it but its begun to leave me with a pain I can’t shake. Work sucks more, I’m getting upset over stupid little things and I just can’t focus properly. I want to make sure everything works out, but I can’t do it alone nd she’s too busy with herself to focus on us, which I understand. She’s back to work, her family sucks sometimes and she’s sick pretty often, none of which can she control. I don’t know what to do.
Wake up from the worst dream ever only to have to rush to work cuz I was late. From there I saw and had to converse with some people from my past which forced me to dig up and chew over memories best forgotten. In conjunction with normal work crap, we have the franchise president coming in on Friday which means, lucky me, its a week worth of crunch time to get shit done before they show their ugly mugs. All of this while my girlfriend could barely hold a conversation cuz she was sickly. Finally I’m home, but its not as if I get to relax oooh no. See nothing in the kitchen has been done all day so the second I get home its clean this and clean that. I then realize the reason nothing was done was because my grandfather had a diabetic attack of a sort and has been out of commission all day. Greaatt.. so after all that I get to sit down, eat some dinner at 9pm and play alittle minecraft, that is until my mom gets home and with the combined force of her and her boyfriend the kitchen is once again a disaster. She in turn tells me that she wants me to clean it up and that she doesn’t ask a lot of me. Please the reason you don’t ask a lot of me is because I’m pretty well self sustaining now, I clean up around the house, I pay for my own food aswell as some of everyone else’s. I pay rent, I pay for my car. You need not ask cuz its already done.. and here I thought you’d actually give a damn about my good news for the day..
So because she wouldn’t listen I hope you all will. So on a positive note: ill soon be going for my forklift license so I can start recieving at work, which means more moolah pour moi. And I also decided on a school to attend for college, it seems I’m taking a step towards the design career, I used to think it was all I could do, but now I can really put it to the test.
So it was an up and down day really, just seemed pretty bad all in all.
But still she takes it lightly.
I’m going to be there for her,
Im going to be strong,
Even alittle insane at times.
But its going to be for her.
And I continue to say “going to”
As if I’m not already.
She would tell me over and over,
“You’re already everything I need”
“I’m not sure you could be more for me”
I know I do all these things and more
But there will be another life,
One quite the same as this.
With the exception of a stronger bond,
A more capable maturity,
A need for more care with eachother,
Words that could only mean so much more in that life then this,
And the insanity that comes with never knowing how to feel one thing at once.
That life comes with mere words that couldn’t possibly go forgotten,
And a couple silver rings.
I say it all the time,
But still she takes it lightly..
I’m going to marry this girl.